Customer Service: Automated machine has replaced an actual human

Oh. My. Sweet. Lord. I have reached my breaking point with automated customer service - when did this happen? And WHY? Remember the good old days.. if you were having a problem with your internet, or your television wasn't operating properly, or you needed to change your airline ticket, you would simply ring the company and speak with a representative? A human? An actual person who doesn't demand that you respond with an answer that is already pre-populated? A, B, C or D? Yes or No?

Today, I woke up to find that my internet was no longer functioning. I gave the company a call, only to find that speaking with a live representative was no longer an option. The alternative? Talking to an automated woman who promised me that she would "walk me through the process of fixing my modem in no time!" Great! Let's get started. We begin by going over how many lights I have blinking on my modem. Automated woman: "How many lights do you see?" Me: "Four." Woman: "Five?" Me: "NO, FOUR." Woman: "I'm sorry, I don't understand. Can you please repeat your answer?" Me: "FOUR LIGHTS ARE BLINKING." Woman: " I still did not get that. Would you like to call back and try again?" Me: "NO - I ALREADY WAITED 12 AND A HALF MINUTES TO GET THROUGH TO YOUR PITIFUL ANSWERING SERVICE! FOUR LIGHTS. F-O-U-R." Woman: "OK - I think you said, you see four lights. Is that correct?" Me: "Yes!" We continue on in this same fashion, me repeating my answers over and over and OVER until the automated woman (who I must say, has a rather promiscuous-sounding voice for someone who is representing Time Warner Cable's internet help-desk) decides that she will now try to find my modem on the server. Woman: "Please hold while I try to locate your modem." Five minutes later. "Please continue to hold. I apologize for the wait." Oh, really? You do? Do you feel bad about the fact that I'm wasting my daytime minutes sitting here on speakerphone while you, a machine, searches for my modem? You can't possibly feel THAT bad, now, c'mon. Ten minutes later..."I am sorry. I do not see your modem on our server. I am going to have to transfer you to someone who will be able to help you with your technical complication." Hooray! Maybe I will now speak with a living human! WRONG. "Hello! My name is Mark and I am here to help you. Please tell me how many lights are blinking on your modem." OH. MY. LORD. I hang up. I can't take this anymore!! Isn't the unemployment rate higher than it has been in about 15 years? I have a thought: Let's start hiring people to work in customer service departments. How about it? My stress level will go down exponentially, as will my phone bill.