Plastic Packaging

Why does plastic packaging have to be so FREAKING hard to open? You would think with all of the inventions and design developments over the last few decades we could come up with a less annoying way of packaging a product. New razors, replacement electric toothbrush heads, electronic gadgets... you name it - they are all guilty of it. I wish all these products would come with a new pair of scissors since I have probably broken about 5 pair of my own while attempting to stab and cut into the obnoxious plastic. On top of it, while stabbing and ripping the package, I'm scared out of my mind that I'm going to get a brutal "plastic cut" (think paper cut only much MUCH worse). I can't be alone in finding this whole process incredibly annoying.

Not only do I hate the type of plastic packaging mentioned above, but the less obtrusive style of plastic packaging also hits a nerve. Packs of gum, new DVDs, new video games -- although often times there is a little tab or plastic strip to help you along in the opening process, it seems as if this little convenience manages to always hide from my sight. I just want to play my new video game -- I don't want to sit here spending 5 minutes getting it open and then having to deal with the produced static causing the plastic to stick to me and the case!

So this is a call to all of you bright designers & engineers out there. Can we PLEASE come up with solution to the annoyance of plastic packaging??? Both me and my broken scissors thank you in advance.

Person in the cube next to mine who chooses to have personal phone conversations at their desk during the workday

Good morning, coworker in the cube directly next to mine who I have never spoken with. As I sit here at my desk, trying my best to IGNORE the very personal phone conversation that you are having with your mother right now about your urinary tract infection, I can do no such thing. Here I am, trying to filter through my inbox at a diligent pace and am now being sidetracked by your useless banter regarding an issue that I want absolutely no part of. Yesterday it was about your son Trevor's soccer game...did you end up making it there on time? How were the sliced oranges that you brought - did you end up deciding whether to tote them over in a plastic baggie or a re-useable container? And how is your husband's indigestion today? I think you asked your mother to remind you to give him his Prilosec tonight, but if she forgets, here is a reminder. Neighbor, although you and I have never met, I am beginning to feel as though we are old friends. I know where you are going to dinner tonight in midtown and that you can't figure out what type of flowers to send to your client who just had a baby and is taking an extended maternity leave. Thing is, you're just LOUD. You make no attempt to hide the fact that you do indeed spend a large majority of your day babbling. If you could just reduce the volume a bit, I think we could really start to get along. Maybe I'll even start to believe that you really do work at this company and are not just utilizing the desk next to mine to make free personal phone calls. By the way, the dress that you're wearing is NOT cute - you can stop describing the fabric to mom because I am sitting right here next to you and can vouche for the fact that it is in no way "a mirror image of the Vera Wang that Molly Sims is wearing on page 34 of this month's InStyle magazine!! Like, totally!". Mom would agree. I know that the other people in our row are hip to your game, because everytime you call your pharmacist to order your prescription of Zoloft, 75 milligrams, you speak extra loud due to the fact that your pharmacist has a hearing problem. Please, I'm begging you. I'm really trying to focus, and so is the rest of the row. Either start using your "inside voice" or I'm going to have to request a desk change. And by the way, I can't wait until you depart on your 2 week vacation to the Maldives - you said yesterday that you're leaving tomorrow?

Dear Starbucks, I think your coffee sucks.

I have been wanting to share my thoughts on this for quite some time, but have chosen to remain silent until today. I just can't accept this any longer. Starbucks...your coffee is absolutely horrendous. It tastes like acid-soaked chalky water that has been left out on my counter for weeks and then microwaved at the last moment. Yeah, I said it. But, why? Why does the most popular coffee chain in the country happen to have the worst tasting brew?? Trust me - I've done my part. I have tried to dress up my "Grande Verona Blend" or "Tall Pike's Place" for years...2% milk and splenda, half and half with plain sugar...even a shot of gingerbread syrup...it still tastes the same. Lucky for me, I happen to have other coffee options near my office, but I often feel a sense of remorse for those who do not have this luxury, and who do not feel like spending $4.67 on a tall skim extra hot latte that often times arrives luke warm and sans foam (a latte is supposed to have foam. Always. The foam is the best part.) I have decided that it must be a joke - and the owners of Starbucks are the only ones laughing. You have won, Mr. Starbucks. I am not going to spend money on your extra strong, rancid and abhorent tasting plain coffee. But alas! Look at the myriad of OTHER, more costly options we can choose from that only set us back a few extra bucks! This being said, I find it only fair that you remove the "coffee" part of your title - leaving your name as solely "Starbucks". What do you think? 

Guy who listens to his music too loudly

Hey guy in a suit leaning up against the door in the train -- just because I forgot my ipod at home today doesn't mean that I want to listen to your crappy music. I can only imagine how loud your music is in your ears if I can clearly make out the beat of the song you are listening to. I am, however, quite perplexed that you are grooving to some type of bizarre techno song that one would only hear at some random secret rave party at 4am. How you just stand there still as a silo rather than starting to dance through the aisle is anyone's guess.

Why do people like the guy mentioned above find it necessary to listen to their music at level 11 out of 10? Are they just trying to psych themselves up for a fun-filled day in a cubicle staring at a computer screen for 8 hours? And why is it that whenever someone is blasting their music for all to hear they are not incredibly embarrassed that we all know what they are listening to?

Case in point - a few weeks ago I was on the usual 8am elevator voyage up to my office when in walks an unassuming well-dressed older gentlemen, I'm guessing probably around 55 years old(and no Amy B -- I did NOT hold the door open for him). Well Mr. 55 year-old must not have realized his music was loud enough to fill up an entire concert hall. What song Mr. 55 year-old was listening to? Sweet Child O' Mine... I let it slide this time because it was much more AMUSING than ANNOYING.

In conclusion, headphones are meant to serve as little mini-speakers for your ears and your ears only. Please TURN DOWN the volume -- and PS, you have HORRIBLE taste in music.

What are some classic run-ins you have had with "guy who listens to his music too loudly"? Comment below.

The elevator door conundrum

I'm not exactly sure where this tradition originated, but I am seriously, seriously done with having to thank the person who chooses to stand outside of the elevator door and use their arm to "hold it open" as I walk inside. I understand that you are probably just trying to show your kindness by graciously extending one of your extremities to ensure that I do not get accosted whilst entering...But, honestly? Please do not feel the need to engage in this sort of behavior any longer. I am fully capable of holding my own elevator door open and do not need anyone's assistance. If anything, it truly just makes things awkward. After you do so, I am forced to thank you profusely as if you have done something noble like save me from getting hit by a taxi. Chances are, you have done nothing at all. The door was not even attempting to close itself on me. I walk inside and you enter last with a big grin on your face; then continue to look at me as if I owe you your next round at the bar. When I get into an elevator in the morning, all I want to do is finish the song that is currently on my ipod and think about how many minutes I have until I can go back outside for lunch. Holding your arm against the door deserves nothing more than a smile. Maybe a smile. Especially when the behavior occurs prior to me having the opportunity to take a sip of my morning starbucks. Moving forward, feel free to keep you arms to yourself and walk into the elevator just like everyone else chooses to do so. The level of respect will skyrocket and we can all have a happy and comfortable ride up to our respective floors. No awkwardness whatsoever! Sound good?

Friends who never have cash

As long as we are in the subject of cabs, let's address another common occurrence which we have all experienced time and time again -- the friend who never has any cash. Everyone has that one friend who somehow never has any money to pitch in to pay for a cab and that same very friend is usually across the street before you can even ask. "I'll get the next one" or "I'll get the first round at the bar" is usually the response, yet everyone knows neither of these is going to happen. Does this friend think they are sneakily getting away with this? Don't you think after the 10th time trying to pull this same move the rest of us start to catch on??

This is usually the same friend who screws everyone up when you are trying to split a group bill at dinner, but for some reason everyone has put in more than their fair share and we still don't have enough money... that scenario is another post for another day.

"Credit card machine is broken."

I have gotten quite tired of the guilt and frustration I feel every time I step into a New York City taxi. As I reach inside my wallet to notice that, no, of course I have no cash on hand, I realize that I will be forced to endure the good old back and forth between myself and the driver regarding my method of payment. One would hope that since all Manhattan cabs are now fully equipped with functioning credit card machines, these machines would be working at least 99% of the time. No. Not. In. This. City. We arrive at my destination and I take out my debit card, only to hear the driver mumble in a language that sounds something sort of like english, "Machine is not working. Machine is NOT working today." Oh really? Just today? What about yesterday when the other cab I flagged down had a machine that was not working either? And the one I took a few days ago where I was forced to get out of the cab and use an ATM at a deli, only to be charged an additional $2.50 for taking my money out? Hm. Although this can create more of a mess than you had ever imagined could occur in a taxi, I have found a solution. Repeat after me: "Sir, I only have a credit card. I can not get cash. I have to use a credit card or I'm sorry, I just can't pay you." Amazingly enough, the utterance of this sentence magically FIXES the credit card machine! I swear, it's true! Of course, be prepared to hear a nasty comment under his breath as you swipe your card and realize that there's no way in hell you are going to tip him the recommended 25% that is posted on the screen. Thank g-d we're not forced to pay before the trip is over - I can see many trips of mine resulting in me being left off in a dark alley somewhere east of Avenue D. Yikes.

the little red exclamation point

Something that truly bothers me to no end: People who choose to hit the "urgent" symbol for emails that are nowhere near urgent. Why? Why are you bringing this email, which is clearly insignificant, to my immediate attention? Do you think that your inquiry or request is any more important than anyone elses? And, by the way, the more you utilize the little red exclamation point (let's call it, the LREP) the less I am going to believe that your email is even remotely urgent. If anything, I am going to read it LAST, as I know with almost one-hundred percent certainty that this is not something that needs a response by EOD, or COB, or ASAP. The moment a LREP appears in my inbox, I begin to get anxious and feel as though the sender of the email is actually demanding that I respond to this request first. My point? Don't click the LREP unless it is an EXTREMELY important issue, such as, "Do I want to go to a kick-ass happy hour after work that once has one spot left", or "You are eligible to win the lottery, all you have to do is respond to this email". Thanks.

Stuff That is Annoying

Stuff That's Annoying.

Call me old, Call me grumpy, Call me whatever you want -- but as the days pass me by I have come to realize that there are so many of life's little daily annoyances that we all put up with. Are people really as dumb as I think? Well, George W Bush DID get re-elected, so I'll go with the answer YES.


So what is the purpose of this blog? There really is no other purpose than to vent over pet peeves, human stupidities, and other common frustrations that torment all us "common folk". Venting will probably not make "stuff" any less annoying, but at least by making fun it of we can in result feel much better about ourselves!

~DP